my sisters and i had wanted a dog of our very own since we were little. we were so determined to convince our parents this was a must in our lives that we turned my oldest sister's closet into an impromptu office where we did all of our research on breeds, how we would tackle the responsibility of feeding and walking, and of course names! at the time we had picked out a small, fluffy, white maltese. we thought it would be perfect and we made a very serious and formal presentation to my parents. they however, did not buy into our great idea, but said we could all have a dog when we were on our own.... sad faces all around.

they did follow through though. upon graduation we all received a check that said "for your dog" or "whatever you may want now!" i'm sure that none of us used those actual dollars for a dog, but my older sister and her family have a beautiful lab who is beyond sweet and wonderful with their two little girls. my youngest sister and her husband are still dog empty nesters and two and half years ago my husband and i added a little clown of a french bulldog to our small clan of two. 

even though we named him something else we fondly refer to him at mr. pig; mainly because he is a hoover and looks like a tiny pig with his bottom in the air as he eats. mr. pig is my biggest of big petite joys! he is a cuddle monster and extremely generous with his kisses (and burps). we haven't been blessed with children in our lives yet, but mr. pig has done a beautiful job of allowing us to care for him, love him, and be his puppy parents. i will in no way ever compare my dog (however loved he may be) to our future children, but it has expanded our hearts in ways we couldn't have imagined. 

i've "loved" my friends animals all my life, but i never understood what it was like to have a little four legged bowling ball come at you when you come home and be so excited that it's you! no one else, but you! he fills me with such happiness and my husband and i are so grateful to this funny little guy that just as much has chosen us as we had chosen him. so today i'm sending out a little extra thanks for this petite joy in our lives and for the purest of little loves and silliness he gives to us!  

photo credit to batpigandme.tumblr.com

my dream used to terrify me. well, i guess it wasn't the actual dream that terrified me, but the very real prospect that it would never be fulfilled. since i was three years old i've wanted to be an actress. i remember seeing the wizard of oz with my dad and thinking, "yes, this is for me." i caught the real bug when i did my first school play in 5th grade and actually played dorothy gale and sang somewhere over the rainbow to a bunch of parents beaming cheesily back at me and their children dressed up as a munchkins and winged monkeys! 

the dream followed me through junior high, high school, and on to college where i studied acting faithfully and eventually studied in london for a semester. after graduation i moved to the big apple with two suitcases and $600 dollars to my name. i immediately started what every actor/actress does, pounding the pavement and papering the town in my headshot and resume. i talked to anyone and everyone i could about acting and did my best to network with anyone who would give me the time of day. after just three months i had earned my sag card. it was a huge accomplishment to me at the time. 

there are two ways you can earn your sag card. one, you can "earn" your card by doing background days and getting "upgraded" to a sag actor for the day due to numbers. this did not appeal to me. i did not want to get my card this way. i wanted a role. i wanted to hold that card and know that i had truly earned it. in the first two months i had received two of my three "waivers" to join sag and i knew with just one more of these "upgrades" i would have "earned" this card the exact way i didn't want to...due to the numbers. 

then a miracle happened. i ended up on the set of life on mars and in the 13th hour of an 18 hour day mr. harvey keitel leaned over to me and asked if i could improv? could i improv? oh yes i could improv! thank you to my professor elaina! i ran with him in the scene and the director asked me to continue. i ended up finishing out the episode with them over the next couple of days and truly earned my sag card with my first role in a new york tv show! i was on cloud 9. there was no where to go but up, right? wrong.

lets just say, the directors and producers of new york or la or anywhere for that matter did not come banging down my door. that's not to say that i didn't continue to work every day, i did. you can see me all over shows like gossip girl, all the law and orders (i can't count the number of ways i've been killed on law and order!), the big c, ugly betty, ect. i found my niche though standing in. standing in is when you are a good match physically to the actual actor/actress playing the role. you stand on the actor/actresses mark for lighting and camera set up. then the actor/actresses come back when everything is ready to go and says their lines. 

over the last few years i have stood in and body doubled for some very big names in hollywood. some of these women have been beautiful to me and i adore them both on and off screen and others weren't so "pleasant" to me. nonetheless, in the last 8 years i have built a name for myself in the industry and am a trusted stand in and body double. when i come to set and the crew sees me, they know i will do my job well and make their's easier. it is heartwarming to see their faces and know they are happy to have me with them for the next three months or so. 

last night i attended the pre screening of a movie i worked on in the summer of 2014 (yes, 2014. movies take a long time to get made!) i've only worked on one other movie this past summer since wrapping on the 2014 film. my health takes a big hit when working the long days on set and the minimal amount of food available for me with my strict dietary needs. it now forces me to work on a select amount of projects each year, instead of the numerous ones each month i used to. slowly since my diagnosis i have watched my dreams dwindle and dim and my intricate bond with the film and television world begin to untangle itself. its been painful and hard. i have spent many nights crying about it and it hits me at the strangest of times. but, last night when i was surrounded once again by my fellow crew in a dark theater watching the work we so exhaustedly pushed through, in conditions that were sometimes less than ideal, i felt an overwhelming amount of pride.

my dreams didn't die and the truth is they never will. each film, each television show that i help to create is up on a big screen in some theater, it's etched into a dvd, on the internet, streamable to anyone's tv, iPad, computer...forever. each of these experience was a piece of my dream and each of them will be there for me to relive and see as a tangible part of myself and that joy. dreams don't die. even if they don't flourish in the way you first imagined, the effort, and the journey you have moving toward that dream, are all little relics and proof that they are there, and real, and ever present. 

dream big. "if your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough."

photo credit to liveluvcreate.com

in the words of the beautiful and talented adele...hello, it's me!

i've been wanting to start this blog for some time now and received a little push from myself this morning. i met the day feeling inspired and awakened. why was i waiting to begin this adventure? what was i putting off? there truly was no reason other than that i felt unsure. "courage dear heart", my favorite quote by c.s. lewis was ringing in my ears. what did i have to be unsure about? this was going to be my thoughts, my inspirations, the things i love. what could possibly be hard about that? so, i've taken a leap into the unknown of writing and i'm hoping you will join me on my journey.

in a world that had proven in recent days to be a cruel and unforgiving place i have become determined to recognize the petite joys around me. it is so often the case we focus on the big things, but it is my belief that life is in the petite!

i hope to share with you things i've learned and find interesting, images that fill me with wonder, words that propel me forward, street photography from my days in the city, a little hobby I picked up, and some delicious recipes that are easy and will sure to become family favorites!

i also encourage you today and everyday to start something you've been wanting to pursue! you can do it. "courage dear heart".

welcome to the petite joys!

photo credit to Becca Wohlwinder Photography

photo credit www.ceyoli.com

photo credit to floristh.tumblr.com

photo credit to michael-rock.artistwebsites.com

this is one of my all time favorite quotes. it is a constant reminder to keep pushing forward. my dad always tells me to keep my eyes on the road and stop looking in the rearview mirror. keep aiming on where you want to go, good things are ahead!

photo credit to forward-change.com

if you read my blog today then i hope you have come to feel that dreams you have will never truly die. i also believe that no one is ever too old for fairytales. i promise myself to keep dreaming big and reaching for my own fairytale. make yourself a promise too. big or small you deserve happiness and beauty in your life. we all do!

photo credit to lovequotesrus.tumblr.com

keeping with today's theme of new beginnings and leaps into the unknown, i share with you this beautiful quote from a poem by erin hanson. 

spreading my wings and learning to fly. you can too. deep breaths!

a little over two years ago i was diagnosed with celiac disease. shortly after my wedding my body gave out on me and my weight plummeted to an astonishing 78lbs. i knew something was wrong awhile before this, but fear paralyzed me against doing anything about it. i was so incredibly lucky to get to the doctor when i did as i was nearing a dangerous level of malnutrition and internal damage.  please let me be a lesson to you, if you are suffering from something that does not feel right, go see your doctor! don't wait. a couple weeks after that i was followed up with a second diagnosis of crohns disease. needless to say, it was a banner year! in all seriousness though it could be worse. i am very blessed to have a supportive family and friends who work with me in order to live as normal a life as possible!

for those of you who don't know,

celiac disease is an autoimmune disorder that can occur in genetically predisposed people where the ingestion of gluten leads to damage in the small intestine.  it is estimated to affect 1 in 100 people worldwide.  two and one-half million americans are undiagnosed and are at risk for long-term health complications.

crohn's disease is an inflammatory bowel disease (IBD). it causes inflammation of the lining of your digestive tract, which can lead to abdominal pain, severe diarrhea, fatigue, weight loss and malnutrition. inflammation caused by crohn's disease can involve different areas of the digestive tract in different people.

now that i have shared with you a little bit about me, i hope you will understand that the recipes i will be sharing, will all have notes attached to them on how to either make them gluten free or what you can do to make them "glutenful" if you are so lucky to not suffer from celiac disease! i hope you are the latter. 

when people ask me what food i miss the most i always have to explain its not the food. i can make pretty much anything gluten free. what i miss the most is the freedom! if you are like me and missing your freedom, then i hope you will find a little bit of that here. 

happy cooking to all!

photo credit to glutenfreeliving.com